How to handle stumbling blocks

The interview with Deb Liu, CEO of Ancestry, offers a thought-provoking, open, and honest portrait of a Chinese American woman leader who has been growing and making a big impact. I resonated with much of her story, including our shared family name of Liu, growing up in a town with very few Asians, and working hard to get into Stanford and pursue a business career. We even both worked at Intuit. I have personally benefited greatly from Ancestry, learning that I was not 100% Chinese as I believed all my life, but that I’m also part Korean, an intriguing insight that changed how I see myself and has helped unravel the mystery of my ancestors. 

What struck me most in the interview was hearing her describe her motivation, and how it has transformed over time. In her early years she had a chip on her shoulder, wanting to prove she was the best. But what used to be a springboard to achievement became a stumbling block to fulfillment. Hearing classmates’ feedback in the Interpersonal Dynamics class that she held herself back from opening up, that she didn’t let herself be known, became life-changing.

How can a stumbling block be a doorway to something different and more fulfilling?

Part of the journey is understanding that it is a journey, not a destination, and that our definition of “success” will affect the choices we make and the paths we pursue. Are the markers of success external, such as grades, money, and promotions, or are they internal, such as gaining true insight and self-awareness, making meaningful connections with others, and accepting and loving ourselves? There is, of course, another possibility that is not one or the other, but enables us to become our best selves, to achieve and make great impacts not just by doing but by being, and to let our goodness shine. The pursuit of achievements can be purposeful and beautiful, and at the same time, we are already abundantly enough right now.